This Isn’t Sarcasm (1986)

Egad Acceptance Letter 1988

I was watching PEN ’86 on television last night
and all the writers bitched and complained about politics
in literature,
and I got really pissed off,
I mean, why wasn’t I invited?
I can bitch and complain with the best of them,
and besides, I’m a better poet than Allen Ginsberg
and better looking as well.

You know, I don’t understand
why when I love a girl
she doesn’t come running up to me
and scream: “I love you, John. I want you, John.”
I mean, all you have to do is look at me
to realize that I’m something special.

I think violence is too overrated,
I mean, life’s a useless piece of shit anyway,
so who cares if people die prematurely?
Shouldn’t we be concerned about population control? I am.
So we should all go up and say: “Thank you, Mr. Murderer,
thank you Mr. Abortionist, thank you Mr. God for providing
us with catastrophes to kill innocents. Thank you one and
all for helping with the serious problem of population control.”

Published in Egad! – Hamel, MN – 1988



  • The first poem I ever had accepted…surprisingly, it was also the very first response I received back. That was nice. The magazine was called: “Egad!” and was based in Hamel, MN.
  • The editor took out the first stanza: “it feels like tuning up the piano for the symphony.” Fair enough!
  • I’m not sure where my obsession with Allen Ginsberg came from. I mention him in, at least, three of my creations. This one, Grateful Dead & a short story imitating Burroughs. I’m not always very nice to him; but, I really like him! “Howl” is an American classic.

Written: 1986

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Back to Top