Tuning With Les Rallizes Denudes (2009)


Tuning With Les Rallizes drawing

Imagine…
after listening to Les Rallizes Denudes: “Double Heads”.

&&&

a band comes on the stage…ready to RAWK!!!

the guitarist strums a chord, then another…
the drummer smashes a cymbal…
the bass player hits a note then another…
there is no vocalist…

they are tuning

a minute or two pass by, it sounds like…
YES YES YES!
they are ready to hit that BIG chord to get everyone
m o v i n g

the guitarist goes back to the original chord…
the drummer hits a tom
the bass player fiddles with his amp…
they are getting ready to motherfucking ROCK the shit outta this place!!!!! yeh yeh i can hear it coming…
what the fuck?!

the guitarist is now fiddling with his amp?!?!
the bass player just walked off stage leaving his bass leaning against the amp…
thick loud feedback erupts from the amp…
the drummer stands and starts hitting the wall behind him with his fists eventually there is blood streaked against the piss stained wall…
what’s that???
a FUCKING electric drill!!!!
what the fuck is the guitarist up to now????
this is fucked…
he’s drilling his fucking microphone!!!
now the bass player is back…
the guitarist stops the SHRILL drill then stomps on his guitar falling on his ass!!! now he’s crawling off stage…
the drummer stops smashing the wall with his fists bows to the crowd and walks off…
leaving the bass player alone standing at the microphone …
the feedback from his amp is slowly fading…
“good night” the bass player says into the microphone then walks off the stage…

the crowd of 4 lie in a heap
soul upon soul
ears drained brains fried
the crowd leave together in silence, then one says: “That was fucking awesome!!!”
another one says: “That was fucked!!!”
The remaining 2 remain silent digesting the shards of pain they have experienced and the anger they witnessed…

meanwhile…

the 3 bands members sit holding beers passing a joint from one to the other they sit sweaty bloody agitated…
exhausted…
then one says: “We were fucking AWESOME tonight!!!”
the drummer says: “My hands are fucked!!!”
the remaining 1 sits silent
digesting the pain suffered together for… for…

still trying to figure that motherfucker out…


Notes

This piece was originally published on the original Harvey Dog Writings blog (which, incredibly, is still up?!). This was written after listening to the almighty Les Rallizes Denudes, and my head transported to a different time and place where the definition of art is personal. This would have been the greatest Hated Uncles gig ever! 

Written: August 15, 2009


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